I got an e-mail from a friend today. The subject was 'Sad news'. I clicked the link and as the page loaded I saw 'Obituaries'. Many people ran through my head as the page continued to load.
Suddenly, the name of an old friend appeared. I was a bit shocked seeing his photo. No explanation was given as to his passing. He was 31 years old.
The two of us had known each other for a long time. He lived on a street with a lot of kids and one in particular was a very good friend. I used to spend a lot of time playing with the kids on that street: snowball fights, football in the yard. It was a really long street with a lot of houses, which made it a perfect place for Halloween. So, it was only natural that we crossed paths a lot as kids. But it wasn't until high school that Brandon and I really became good friends.
Through band, we spent a lot of time together. Memories in his basement playing video games, his mom's extraordinary wildrice soup, listening to his dad's Pink Floyd albums, time in the garage working on cars or any of the many other projects Brandon undertook, on his amazing boat down on the St. Croix river, other days on lake, driving around in the car together, in depth conversations. I just felt, for lack of a better word, good with Brandon.
I guess this story is nothing special or unique. Most people can relate to the good high school friend or friends with whom we lose contact. But each time you're confronted with a situation like this, an old friend to whom something bad happens, you get to thinking how you grew apart. I could have kept better contact is a common thought. I said this to myself many times in the past about Brandon and other friends. I would periodically think about him and what he might be doing. Maybe it's an attempt to once again feel close to the person, or maybe it's just guilt, self-pity.
There is never really a response to this. We all know that things change, friends change. It's just the way life goes. But it's not always easy to accept. This is guilt talking. I think that I carry the past with me. Holding on to it with fondness wishing nothing had changed. But what do I have to feel guilty about? Is this guilt more of a reflection back on myself? I think it might be.
Looking back to the past can be good. I have tons of great memories of my friend and that is what's important to keep.
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Published by speedracer4kq
on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 11:27 AM. Suddenly, the name of an old friend appeared. I was a bit shocked seeing his photo. No explanation was given as to his passing. He was 31 years old.
The two of us had known each other for a long time. He lived on a street with a lot of kids and one in particular was a very good friend. I used to spend a lot of time playing with the kids on that street: snowball fights, football in the yard. It was a really long street with a lot of houses, which made it a perfect place for Halloween. So, it was only natural that we crossed paths a lot as kids. But it wasn't until high school that Brandon and I really became good friends.
Through band, we spent a lot of time together. Memories in his basement playing video games, his mom's extraordinary wildrice soup, listening to his dad's Pink Floyd albums, time in the garage working on cars or any of the many other projects Brandon undertook, on his amazing boat down on the St. Croix river, other days on lake, driving around in the car together, in depth conversations. I just felt, for lack of a better word, good with Brandon.
I guess this story is nothing special or unique. Most people can relate to the good high school friend or friends with whom we lose contact. But each time you're confronted with a situation like this, an old friend to whom something bad happens, you get to thinking how you grew apart. I could have kept better contact is a common thought. I said this to myself many times in the past about Brandon and other friends. I would periodically think about him and what he might be doing. Maybe it's an attempt to once again feel close to the person, or maybe it's just guilt, self-pity.
There is never really a response to this. We all know that things change, friends change. It's just the way life goes. But it's not always easy to accept. This is guilt talking. I think that I carry the past with me. Holding on to it with fondness wishing nothing had changed. But what do I have to feel guilty about? Is this guilt more of a reflection back on myself? I think it might be.
Looking back to the past can be good. I have tons of great memories of my friend and that is what's important to keep.
